The punch bowl has been filled, the paper streamers and the multi-colored balloons have been hung with care. The corsets are ready to be pinned, and everyone's ready to awkwardly dance the night away to mediocre music. Too bad no one told the Red Sox or the Rays.
Right now the Sox and the Rays are the two stoner buddies that "totally forgot that thing was tonight" and are getting ready to crash the party with messy hair, bloodshot eyes and tuxedo t-shirts. Hey, it's nice when you can say "I'm formal, but I'm here to party" at the same time.
The pomp and pageantry of opening day have come and gone. The unbridled enthusiasm of a new season has been replaced with renewed vigor towards baseball's ultimate achievement, a World Series title. Here's the bad news: no team in MLB history has ever made the playoffs after starting the season 0-4. Both of the aforementioned teams have been swept in each of their first two series, falling to 0-6 respectively. If either of these two plan on making it to the party, they better drop the bag of Funyons and gas up dad's Diplomat.
First, let's start with Tampa Bay.
Let me be the first to officially welcome back the Devil Rays. We all love what you guys accomplished as the scrappy, come-from-nowhere underdogs that made that nice little postseason run, but seriously, welcome back to your true home--the bottom of the AL East.
The Rays have made 0-6 look really bad, landing themselves dead last in every offensive statistical category. Heck, they haven't even held a lead in any of their games! It's not looking like too bright of a future when there's only one everyday player hitting over .250 (BJ Upton, .364), Evan Longoria is on the shelf for the better part of the next two weeks and three more games this weekend against the daunting lineup of the Chicago White Sox. Can anybody say 0-9?
I can't really say I'm all that surprised at how the season has started for Tampa Bay. They lost their all-time home run leader, Carlos Pena, and arguably their second best pitcher, Matt Garza to the Cubs. They jettisoned nearly the entire bullpen, a staff that ranked in the top five last season in every category that matters. Take away all of the above and what you're left with is a very mediocre team top to bottom, with the exception of a few very good (not great) players sprinkled in.
Things aren't looking much better for the Red Sox.
I feel it incumbent upon myself to try and restrain Red Sox Nation from stocking up on bullets, lengths of rope and razor blades. Take the keys out of the ignition and open the garage door please, everything will be fine. Sure, they have the third highest payroll in baseball behind the Yankees and the Phillies. Sure, they went out and made the two biggest moves in the MLB off-season and are off to their worst start since 1945. Big deal.
Trust me, as a devout follower of the Beantown boys, I too have felt the sting of losing this first week of baseball. It was discouraging to get crushed by the Rangers, but it was downright painful to watch the Sox drop all three games to the Indians, a team who allowed 22 runs on opening day, yet Boston failed to score more than four runs in any game against the Tribe.
The starting pitching left a lot to be desired as well.
Aside from Jon Lester's wasted gem on Thursday against the Indians, none of Boston's starters had their stuff, as made evident by the amount of long balls dished out by Red Sox starters. In the five games prior to Thursday's contest, Boston's starters had allowed a whopping 10 home runs and the bullpen had allowed another four. Fourteen home runs in five games? Only Ore-Ida serves up more taters.
I, like most other Boston fans, will agree that being winless heading into the home opening series against the hated Yankees wasn't really the best way to go. Keep in mind though, sports fans, the 1998 Yankees started 0-3 and lost four of their first five. What happened with that team? Oh, they only went on to win 114 games and the World Series that year. With that said, step away from the ledge Boston, head down to the Cask and grab yourself a Papelbomb and pint of Nobel Pils, because there are a few bright spots for the Sox.
First, let's talk Adrian Gonzalez. He's that cool kid at the dance who nipped some of his old man's Jack Daniels out of the liquor cabinet and brought his own flask. He's propped himself against the wall to send out the vibe. He's got cigarettes, condoms and a great OBP.
You really couldn't ask for much more out of A-Gon in the first week, since he's been nearly the entire offense. America is about to witness a man born to play in Fenway park. With the short right field porch and his power to opposite field, the sky's the limit for Adrian and his numbers. He's not yet getting nearly the backup he needs from guys like Pedroia, Youkilis, Ortiz, and especially Carl Crawford, and when he does, look out.
Perhaps another lineup change is needed. Some inner circles believe Crawford should be batting first, followed by Pedroia, YoukilisFenway faithful.
It's hard to say that any game is "must win" this early in the season, but if the Red Sox have any intention on fulfilling postseason dreams, Friday afternoon must go the way of Boston. After all, the Yankees are still the Yankees, the Jays are always tough and Baltimore is on the upswing, making the AL East even tougher this year. Falling to 0-3 in the division and 0-9 overall would be devastating.
On a side note, the next series that the Red Sox and Rays play together begins on Monday. Let's hope that each team has won one for the Gipper by then, because the "Enchantment Under the Sea" dance is almost over, and both Boston and Tampa Bay are quickly fading from the picture.
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